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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25508017">i'd probably still adore you with your hands around my neck</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/callumsmitchells/pseuds/callumsmitchells'>callumsmitchells</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>EastEnders (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>M/M, Smut, this is literally just smut i'm not sorry</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 05:20:56</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,559</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25508017</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/callumsmitchells/pseuds/callumsmitchells</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Ben feels comfortable to truly be himself (and bottom) with Callum. </p><p>or, they have sex on the kitchen counter</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>59</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>i'd probably still adore you with your hands around my neck</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>yeah i'm going to hell it's official</p><p>for @maxsbowden on tumblr, love u x</p><p>tumblr: @callumsmitchells</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Ben never used to be like this, he swears. He's genuinely got no idea when this first came about, or even </span>
  <em>
    <span>how</span>
  </em>
  <span>. All he knows is that he's changed, that much is clear. Maybe the shift came around the time he first saw Callum and his perspective on life changed. After that meeting, suddenly going off into the dead of the night to meet up with nameless faces was not the way of life for him, but being with someone, giving his all to that one individual man, growing with them and loving them and feeling loved back - that was Ben. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He's used to knowing what he wants - and he still does, in a way, but now he shows it in a way that's him. Authentically Ben. Back then, he would demand that he would be the one to top on each random app hook up, too terrified within himself to do anything else, even if people would like to believe otherwise. Occasionally, very occasionally, he would bottom, but only if he felt like he could. With Callum, came the storm and the sun and the happiness and suddenly everything changed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It shows in different ways: how Ben has changed. He's happier, more comfortable within himself, willing to do more things and not care what people think. He's safe with Callum, and it relaxes him, knowing that. To the outside world, people wouldn't understand, or recognise the signs - but both Ben and Callum do. They know from the way Ben presses his thumb and index finger to Callum's cheeks, hard enough to know that when he pulls away there's red prints left behind, seared onto the skin until they eventually fade away, or are disguised by the blush that snakes up on to Callum's cheeks. They know from the way Ben pulls Callum down into a jaw droppingly amazing kiss, with soft huffs constituting as moans, letting Callum wrap his arms around Ben, towering over him and eclipsing him. It shows in the way Callum's barely through the door in his entirety before Ben clings on to his tie, the feel of it weighty somehow, as he drags Callum into the bedroom with him, falling onto the bed and lowering Callum on to him, letting the older man take over every single part of Ben. It certainly shows in the way that Ben can't help but sit on Callum's lap of a night, even though part of it is just to wind his boyfriend up, just sitting down unannounced as if his lap was made just for Ben; but mainly it's because of the way Callum's reaction is to nip at the skin on Ben's neck before picking him up with defined muscles and carrying him into the bedroom.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But Ben's personal favourite? His hands on Callum's neck. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They're standing next to the kitchen counter, a spiteful argument dripping from their lips, and Callum is towering over Ben, beating him with his dominance and his words. It angers Ben, because he's usually the one that wins arguments, but he knows he won't today, not with Callum cascading over him. So he does the next best thing, and tries to stop Callum from talking. He raises his hand, and puts his thumb on Callum's right cheek, and spreads his fingers out across over to his left cheek. It's happened before, but usually Ben would tug, pulling Callum tumbling down to him to meet in a kiss. But this is different. He can feel Callum's breath swirling against his hand, all hot and deep, and it's all too much for him, the feeling rooting him to the ground, his head spinning feeling light and dizzy, as if his legs are about to give way from underneath him at any given moment. His eyes glaze over and his hand loosens and slips, sliding down from Callum's face to his neck, and Ben can feel his Adam's apple moving against his palm with each anxious gulp. It's fucking hot, the way his hands look and feel around Callum's neck, even if he's not gripping on to the skin. Callum's mouth is hooked open, a faint gasp barely audible, and blood rushes to his head. Darkness swirls in his eyes, and Ben's almost certain he can see the blueness of his eyes suddenly get swamped in a murky blackness and before long, Callum's hands are wrapped around Ben's wrists, flipping him around so his stomach is pressing against the edge of the kitchen counter. Callum leans forward, body completely overtaking Ben's, his hands still wrapped around his wrists, locking them together and his lips skim past Ben's earlobe, wet and hot and a massive turn on. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You touch me like that again, and you'll regret it." Callum whispers, his voice low and sending shivers all the way down Ben's spine. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Is that a promise?" Ben chuckles, though his voice is caught in his throat. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Callum tugs on Ben's jeans with his spare hand, unzipping and unbuttoning them from behind, somehow skillful at it. "You know it is." He says, breath from his nose exhaling onto the skin of Ben's neck, causing goosebumps to rise over the area. "You still got that lube?" He asks, and Ben nods, unrelenting.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"In my pocket." Ben says, and his body is writhing under the weight of Callum, needing the pressure against him, needing to be touched. His jeans are sagging against his thighs now, completely open and pushed down. His boxers are half hanging off of him, and they certainly expose him completely after there's a faint sound of a zip being opened and Callum untucks himself from his own jeans and boxers. Callum places his right foot between Ben's legs, and nudges them so he spreads them apart, allowing Callum more access. He drips lube onto his fingers, and throws the packet onto the kitchen counter, not even really caring about where it ends up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ready?" He asks, and Ben could cry with how soft Callum always is, even when neither of them expect it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ben nods. "Yeah." He breathes out. "Yes." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Callum grins, and presses an open mouthed kiss to Ben's shoulder blade, causing Ben to focus on the heat that is growing against his skin under Callum's touch, whilst Callum runs his index finger over Ben's rim, slowly but surely pushing further and further in. Ben's head falls back, his mouth open but not making any noise, his eyes scrunching up tightly, fingers holding on to the kitchen counter as he pushes back into Callum, needing to be closer, needing to feel the burn. Callum lets out a low chuckle, and holds onto Ben's waist, attempting to keep him in one position. He watches, and knows that Ben is ready for more, so he releases his finger, and Ben lets out a soft groan, looking back at Callum. He moves again, this time pressing two fingers into Ben, and all of Ben's reactions are even more heightened, and his feet rise above off the floor for just a second, half climbing onto the counter. It's hot, and they both want more; both need more. They move together, both in time with their own made up beat, both of them one and the same. Callum pushes forward, and Ben pushes back and it all just makes sense. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Need more." Ben groans, soft huffs exhaling from his throat, tumbling over his lips. "Please I need more." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Callum knows exactly what Ben wants, and he intends to give it to him. He pulls his fingers out, wiping them on whatever part of his t-shirt he can reach, and drops what remains in the sachet of lube over his dick, moving his hand up and down before he lines himself up against Ben and pushes in, holding on tightly to Ben's waist as he pushes himself in slowly, getting used to the sensation. Ben falls back, needing his body to be touching Callum - needing to be touched </span>
  <em>
    <span>by</span>
  </em>
  <span> Callum, and he locks his fingers around the back of his neck, pressing his back taut against Callum's chest. Callum's hands fumble over his body, until they eventually snake around to the front as he's still falling deeper and deeper inside of Ben, before pulling back and repeating the motion. His fingers trace over the veins on Ben's member and he can hear all the soft moans that are falling from Ben's lips, and all the huffs that are caught in the back of his throat. He takes Ben entirely in his hand, and Ben nearly crumbles to the ground in a heap, the sensation all too much for him and Callum has to muster up all the energy within himself to hold Ben up. It doesn't last long, not as long as either of them would have liked, but Callum is holding Ben up, still thrusting deep into him before pulling out, and his hand is wrapped around Ben's dick, come dripping out onto his fingers. Callum presses a hot kiss to Ben's lips as best he could and they both shake as Callum empties himself, and Ben quickly following in his footsteps, bodies aching. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It just makes perfect sense, how they know each other so well, how their bodies work together perfectly, as though they were made to be like this with one another. It's exactly like coming home.</span>
</p>
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